I know you have an affinity for lists, so I`m going to make this goodbye as list-like as possible. It will probably also make it easier to read considering your yet-to-be diagnosed dislexia.
First is an easy list of thank yous that will probably never be complete -
1. Thank you for being the first (and possibly) only friend to come and visit me in South America. No one has even the hope of an excuse next to you, considering you were living in Korea 6 short months ago.
2. Thank you for basically being my South American mom - reading maps, rationing out hand sanitizer, teaching me how to use Western Union, streering me away from creepy men, always carrying the purse, finding everything I lose, etc. etc. etc.
3. Thank you for essentially planning this entire trip.
4. Thank you for eating ice cream with me every day and for taking me out to McDonald`s to celebrate the exact moment I turned 24 with dulce de leche sundaes.
5. Thank you for occasionlly indulging me in turning left even though you`re 100 percent positive that where we need to be is just to our right. You know I`m not an ambi-turner.
6. Thank you for always finding sushi.
7. Thank you for rationalizing every bad decision we ever made. You`re really good at that. Example - "It`s totally okay that we went to the completely wrong airport in Brazil because those three hours in that glass vestibule were super fun." or "We should absolutely buy ten bottles of champagne `CAUSE IT`S SO CHEAP!"
Speaking of fun, Tori, I just have to say that you`re a really fun girl. And there`s at least two people on this continent that would totally agree with me on that one. Everything from day 2 in Sao Paulo when you broke your fall by pulling my hair, to your first step in Columbia being into a big pile of dogshit, to getting robbed on the subway in Buenos Aires has been pretty fucking hilarious and here goes the list part -
I will never ever think of
1. toucans;
2. Evita Peron, Phil Collins or Mariah Carey;
3. a certain, unmentionable color of punch buggies;
4. cockroaches;
5. Austrailians, all things and people Argentine or anyone named Javier;
6. excercising (which is pretty disturbing if you use it in it`s contextual sense);
7. scary 8-year-old boys or
8. sexy 19-year-old boys
without simultaneously thinking of you.
There were also so many firsts that we experienced together on this vacation,
1. like first time we saw an elephant dick.
2. And the first time sleeping next to the same person for 52 consecutive nights. Also interesting here is that`s a rough total of about 1272 hours with each other, of which we probably spent about five of them apart.
3. We also had our first fight, which happened a week ago and lasted for about 45 seconds.
4. First time in the Pacific Ocean.
5. First time in the jungle, but we didn`t stay that long because it`s not really our bag.
6. First time seeing boobies!!!!!
7. First time seeing DJ Byetone, which I sure hope isn`t the last.
Here, I`ve also compiled a list of your mastered Spanish phrases so you can always use this as a quick reference -
1. Quiero comer los huevos - I want to eat the eggs.
2. Mira a la mierda - Look at the shit.
3. Te amo, muebles - I love you, furniture.
4. Hoy es jueves - Today is Thursday. But I know you only learned this one because you thought jueves sounded like huevos.
5. ¿Cuanto cuesta? - How much?, which you had down the very first day and never forgot.
In conclusion, the only thing that I feel is appropriate here is a quote from the beloved South American artist known only as Pitbull, which I will rearrange in list form -
1. "The dog is too stupid to lose.
2. And they're outlawed in Dade County.
3. They're basically everything that I am.
4. It's been a constant fight."
I think that about sums it up.
1. Love you,
2. miss you already even though you are sitting right next to me.
3. Keep it classy,
-F
you and me and pitbull
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