Tori McNally: Church at 8 pm on a Saturday night.

Protecting myself from yellow dust.

Since being here, I have come down with a cold a few times. Nothing serious, but Koreans act like the slightest cold is a near death experience. Maybe it's their way of life, but even when I am sick at home, there is no way in hell I would be a loud to call out of work on a Saturday night or even be able to afford to. In retrospect, I've probably shouldn't have gone to work many times in the past, but here my job is cake. Also, it's is the little monster's I teach that keep getting me sick. It still boggles my mind how I could clear plates and glassware from strangers for years at restaurants and it not effect me as much as these disease transporting kids effect me. It most be some strange Korean strain of the cold virus.

That said, my Korean friend, Guard, bought me gifts to keep me healthy:

mouthy washy

(he adds and "e" sound to everything... the best is when he says, "I left you a messagey.")

He also instructed me on how to use mouth wash and that it burns. He did not quite understanding me, when I tried to explain, I know how to use this, we do have this in America, too.

antibacterial hand wash

Face mask to protect from the yellow dust blown to Korea from China.

I asked if yellow dust meant pollen, but he did not understand what I meant. He told me his sister, the nurse, recommended for me to use these items to stay healthy. I get everything but the mouth wash. I know you should use mouth wash for good oral hygiene, but is it a necessity to ward off the common cold?

After presenting me with my gifts, I assumed we would go grab some dinner. First, he wanted to take me on another walking tour of Seoul National University campus. It was a beautiful Saturday, upper 70s and flowers in full bloom. He told me the name to many different plants, that of which we also are accustomed to in the USA. For instance, the weeping willow is referred to as belly puddle. To me this was a very literal translation, do to the fact they grow in water prone areas. It was just as literal as how they term fresh air as, "forest bath." The only problem with are little walk is that he wanted to hike up a dry creek bed. Which normally I would not have an issue with, but I was wearing a dress and boots with a slippery sole. Again he didn't understand why I was less then thrilled and we continued the hike anyway.

In the above picture you can notice the high rise buildings of the city jutting out behind the hills. Below is a picture of a pond with not a single fish. There is no wild life in Korea. You can see a bird now and again and if you are really lucky a chipmunk. I asked if in the woods if there were deer or anything living. He laughed and replied no because there are too many people in Korea and not enough room for animals.

In the picture above and below is where we hiked, which isn't dangerous or anything. It is though a real bitch in boots and a dress. I guess though in his defense, Korean women are always overly dress and it is not uncommon to see a woman in black pumps hiking on a trail.

So after our hike, we went to go get dinner. The spot he took me to coincidentally his two pastors from his church was also dining there. I think Guard has a little crush on me and he gets so weird and uncomfortable sometimes around others in front of me, which makes me uneasy. He is also, to overly helpful that I feel near retarded. I am pretty use to doing things for myself. He is the thirty-three year old, who is still solely financially dependent on his family and I have been out of the house in an apartment, since I was eighteen. In Korean culture though, my independence is a difficult concept for him to understand, especially me being a woman. Women here take on a helpless roll. They are almost doll-like. In fact they dress like baby dolls and a lot of them whiten their skin to achieve that porcelain doll effect. In all the country is kind of wimpy and quiet. (I am not trying to be rude.) The man are very feminine, metro sexual-like and ultra passive, as well. In the subways their are glass shelves with gas masks, but there is only like twenty in comparison to the millions of people that use the subway a day. Basically, if their was chemical warfare, with out a doubt my ass could take on the whole Korean population and get one of the twenty gas masks. I am taller and weigh more then most man and woman, plus they would all be so polite about it.

Regardless though, somewhere on this outing I agreed to go with Guard to hear church music. I thought though, being outside on this lovely spring day, that he was talking about church bells. I was sadly mistaken. I ended up at 8 pm on Saturday night listening to a bunch of young, devout Christians playing English Christian rock songs translated to Korean. There were hands in the air, people swaying, tears and eyes closed so tightly in an almost a near orgasmic expression all around me. And yes, I was the only foreigner. Immediately, my body began to stiffen and clench. My joints began to ache. I got hot, tense and completely uncomfortable. If you know me at all, you would know I have an intense dislike for church. I think it is fake, cult-like and in need for a huge modern makeover. I just think the whole concept of religion is dated. Not that I don't believe in anything, but I just don't think church reflects what life is today. But that is a whole nother blog page. Needless to say I never more at any moment since being here wanted to be at home so fucken bad. After the music stop the service began. At one point they were giving little presents out to first time visitors. Guard urged me to go up and I refused. Then he started to translate the service to me. I couldn't understand him, so he got up and left to go find me and English bible. First of all, I don't even know what to do with a bible and secondly, it would probably melt through my hands. I got up and ran for the door. I told him I was not feeling well, which was true, religion made me sick. I told him I had to leave and I started to nonstop fake cough. He walked me to the subway and I never rushed away from anyone so fast in my life.

Trying to recover from this dramatic experience, I decided to meet my American friends out. I had no plans to go out and drink, but I had to sin as much as possible to make up for the fact that I was just at church. I meant them in Hongdae, where at the first bar I consumed four beers and four shots of tequila in less then an hour. With shots costing less then a dollar fifty many more were consumed that evening. Oh and yes, the face mask did make an appearance out.

Burger king at 5 am and a million different condiments. I asked for barbecue sauce and I got mustard, ketchup and on that lid bulgogi sauce (which is the most amazing thing ever).